It has been proven that holding onto resentment, anger, shame and a feeling of being a victim can have detrimental affects on health. Forgiveness, when done properly, not only affects our physical and mental health, but also our spiritual health. In fact, it is our spiritual health that I would like to focus on.
Why most people find it so hard to forgive
Most people see forgiveness as a choice. If only they could find it in their heart then all would be well. But, from a spiritual perspective, this is a mistake. The moment we act like we can force forgiveness onto a situation, we create a subtle ego identity around it. We say "If only I could control my feelings about the situation", thus we fight with our reality.
So, we try to convince ourselves with the mind that "they didn't mean it", or "it couldn't have been any other way". Thus we simply plaster ego on top of ego. If you're persuading yourself of the reasons why you or they need to be forgiven then you've already lost.
If you're making forgiveness the goal, or intending to forgive someone, then you're shooting yourself in the foot.
Did you know that as well as being excellent singers, the common blackbird is also an exceptional listener?
After a period of silently listening, he's off, flying to another destination. A few minutes and he's back again.
This repeats: Sing, listen, act.
What can we learn from the common blackbird?
Sing, listen, act. Mastering these 3 in combination is the key to flow. Leave even one out and we are stuck, unable to continue on our path.
Sing - for why are we here if not to shine ourselves out into the world? Expressing ourselves brings the inner into the outer - then the universe knows what we need.
Listen - for listening is the key to connection. When we truly hear without letting thought and judgment interfere, then we get to know the inner workings of the universe. There is no enlightenment without listening.
Act - for it is through action that the universe, and those around us, knows who we are. Without intention or attachment to outcome, make action the result of singing and listening, and your deeds will always be aligned.